There are certain life stages society considers the highest point of happiness, such as getting your first promotional (opens in a new window) and organizing your wedding day.
Although you don’t have to do them to be happy, they are often regarded as significant moments in life, along with having a baby, buying a house, and so forth – that signifies happiness and success.
“My wedding day was a disaster. It was too much pressure.”
Sarah Cowgill*, 31 years old, was thrilled to be getting married. She was tired of waiting for the weddings to happen.
“I was looking around at the group and noticing everyone’s smiling, boozed-up faces during my Dad’s father-of-the-bride speech. I noticed my friend Kate.”
“The rest of the guests thought everything was great. The sun shone, the ceremony was smooth, the band arrived on time, and Dad told stories about my youth. However, deep inside, I counted the hours until I could remove my gown and exhale. Deeply.”
People were crazy happy to see us get engaged. We received “Perfect Couple” cards, love Facebook messages, and dinner invitations from people we didn’t know. My sudden popularity was a little strange to me, but I managed. My Dad was the only thing I wanted to be there to help me walk down the aisle. He had been sick for more than a year, and although he was feeling better, it was still early. I wanted that moment the most.
“But I didn’t realize there would be so many things to do first. My mother-in-law sent me a gushy email containing a list of 30 names the morning after Tom* and I announced our engagement. Tom didn’t recognize anyone. She replied, “No, these are my friends.”
“Meanwhile, I was trying to get my friends together for their dress fittings. The words “gross,” ghastly, and “I’m NOT wearing that” was whispered to my ears just as they entered the fitting room. My maid-of-honor stepped out, wincing. She shook her head and said she was sorry. My brother then called, asking if he could bring a girl he had met on Tinder but hadn’t met in person. “I was too tired to say no at this point.”
“We woke up in shock the following day and lay in our hotel rooms. It had taken a year of planning, but it was finally over. Did we enjoy it? Our photos show our discomfort. It was difficult to accept that my wedding day was a disaster. But there was too much pressure.